Young family: 9 common mistakes in relationships
Whether we like it or not, family relationships often do not develop quite exactly as we would like.
We want to draw your attention to 9 main points thatnot necessarydo not let things get to
1. To think that your partner will not go anywhere
We stop noticing and appreciating our partner only because we are used to it and we think that it will not go anywhere from us.
Yes, and from his partner’s side, attention signs, cute surprises and pleasant trifles are gradually disappearing - the young family is immersed in life, relationships become more mature and ... boring.
Involuntary transmission of indifference is transmitted from one partner to another, and, sooner or later, he may begin to look for the lack of care and attention outside our relationship.
2. To think that the partner will leave you
Being inattentive to a partner is a bad idea, but excessive dependence on attention, attitude, and the presence of another person can frighten those who are close to us.
If the boundaries of the relationship are already clear - you are married, and mutual obligations are defined, then it is not necessary to constantly demand evidence of great and pure love from the partner.
As it is not worthwhile to persistently look for signs of treason - such thoughts speak more about your own insecurity than about the negative intentions of your partner.
3. To complain about your partner to everyone, but not to him.
Sad as it may be, but both husband and wife most often have a rather impressive list of what they would like to correct in each other.
Of course, there are no ideal people, but it’s still worth discussing the list of complaints with a partner, and not with someone else (mom, girlfriend, colleague).
In addition to the fact that the disclosure of personal family problems is unlikely to make a positive in your relationship, the partner can simply not guess the essence of your problems. Talking about problems is with him!
Read also: Husband and wife: the main causes of conflict and ways to resolve them
4. Suppress Your Discontent
In relationships, you can always find a reason for discontent, but you should not accumulate dissatisfaction or hide disagreement.
Sooner or later, unspoken irritation will go into the area of the unconscious and you, as if by chance, will begin to answer your partner with the same thing - forgetting to call or not to fulfill an important request.
Find the strength to calmly discuss what upsets or offends you, the only way to not lose mutual trust.
5. Constantly doubt
How often do you worry about the prospect of your relationship, are you afraid to say or do something wrong, and the usual partner fatigue is a huge problem for you, and a sign that he does not want to maintain the relationship?
If you constantly think over negative options for the development of relations and draw up an action plan in case of a break, the partner is involuntarily charged with your anxiety.
Only he can interpret your fears not as an unwillingness to lose him, but as your fear of development and prospects of relations. In the end, he feels unnecessary and wants to leave.
6. Being a partner is not serious enough
What place do you allot to your partner in the system of your priorities? Most likely, in your first place is not a personal relationship, but children or work?
Of course, children need parental attention, and everyone has to earn money, even mothers on maternity leave.
However, a partner should always feel and understand his own value for you and significance in a relationship; otherwise, such relationships, as a rule, end quickly, because nobody likes anything.
7. Stop believing in a partner
Even the most optimistic of us have difficult times when the black bar is delayed. Understanding when this time has come at your partner and supporting it is extremely important.
It is your firm conviction that everything will invariably be adjusted, will be a necessary impulse for man to find strength and overcome trials.
8. Do not take into account the difference of mentalities
Spouses often quarrel because the patterns of their parent families were different. If in the family of her husband's mother did all the homework, it does not occur to him that the young wife needs help with housework.
If this and many other points (raising children, family budgets, goals and prospects) do not talk in advance in order to find common points of contact, quarrels and problems are inevitable.
Accept partner's side, be ready to change, build new models of behavior in your own family - an indispensable condition for a happy marriage.
9. Stop believing in your relationship.
Young spouses are faced with a number of reasons that can destroy their relationship - from the banal misunderstanding, to the difference of characters and betrayal.
The main thing in this case is not to stop believing in your common future, not to lose each other, not to allow yourself to give up, but to continue the emotional connection with the person.
It will not always be bad, once your life was joyful and happy and only in your hands again make it the same.
Try to correct your behavior a little, correct the mistakes, and the chance to keep the relationship for a long time will increase by severaltime.